i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
