if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
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