So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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