Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
