I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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