She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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