i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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