if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
