drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
