like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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