at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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