i was born a porn star she said
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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