Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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