Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
