Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she smelled like a LAN party
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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