We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
