Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
