You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
