So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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