It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
