I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
