just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
