also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize
