Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
PS: I just woke up from my shower
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize