I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
