More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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