Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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