What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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