Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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