Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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