Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
