That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize