is your mom at the bar?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize