Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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