Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
