She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
