can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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