dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
