what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
