She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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