Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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