The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize