i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
