I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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