i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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