Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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