Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
