My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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