I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
