best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I had to cum in my sink.
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