# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
