This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
