i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
