ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
