oh god the rape fog is back!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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