Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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