You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
