I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
