And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
