They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
