Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
