oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
