Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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