well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize